Some random stories (1)

Before I tell these pointless stories, I just wanted to say I enabled Anonymous commenting. I know that no one reads this blog, but still.

>Download .ZIP about pokemon distribution
>Open the readme.txt
>First line reads "LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE HUNS"


>In car
>It's raining and shit
>Have to get to house
>Don't want to get too wet
>Grab towel
>Wrap it around my head
>Yell "We muslim now"
>Other pedestrians turn and look at me
>Run to house Muslim style


>On bus
>Phone starts acting weird
>It turns into a transformer
>It tells me I am the chosen one
>Black out
>Wake up on my kitchen floor
>Im hugging a toaster
>It starts making sounds
>I understand them
>I can speak toaster

>It tells me it wants sexual pleasure
>Stick my dick in it
>It starts to burn
>It gets stuck
>3rd degree dick burns
>It wasnt a toaster
>It was my cat