The other day I saw a picture of a pizza and the topping was tinier slices of pizza and honestly I'm still salivating

My Thanksgiving dinner is a sandwich from a gas station.

If I've known someone for 5 years I've known them for over a fourth of my life. That shit freaks me out

https://youtu.be/XDNOGSsTsp4

My greatest weakness: I can't moonwalk

Caving in and buying a PS4 and Fallout 4

I feel wrong when shuffle puts on a song from a dead artist and I skip it

"You wanna get something to eat and play fallout?" Is possibly the best text I've ever received

I just made a pb&j in complete darkness and have come to the conclusion it should be a gameshow

Holding an umbrella makes me feel kinda gay so I hold it like a weapon to regain my fragile masculinity.

I want to eat pop tarts but the more pop tarts I eat tonight the less pop starts I have to eat tomorrow

"How can I ask him for dick pics without getting banned from miiverse?"

This shit is fucking great https://youtu.be/DbE1uL7mhmI

Do you think you've ever driven past a car with a corpse in the trunk

I have to poop but I don't feel like getting out of bed