You don't know struggle until you need to put a chicken sandwich in your pocket to save it for later

Quick, someone teach me intermediate accounting before my test starts in 30 minutes

I've had an empty bag of chips longer than pretty much any of my friendships. Does that say something about me?

When you think of a hilarious joke no one you know would get

4/10 would impregnate

Why do people walk up escalators. Like shit, can't I just enjoy the ride?

I think I know more people who have played undertale than not

Missed my bus cause I was taking a shit

It's weird that God doesn't like sodomy considering he fucks me so much

I tried going to youtube while eating a poptart and somehow accdientally typed "pop tart" into the URL bar

I'm pretty bothered by the fact that "Trife" isn't an actual word.

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" -Someone with a fundamental misunderstanding of space

The other day I over tipped a delivery guy because I couldn't understand his accent and now I'm afraid to order from there again because he probably has expectations