My dick disease

Ok, so basically, I have Eczema, on my DICK.
I'm not exactly sure why this happened, I can only assume it's stress related. It's also on my face, both arms, both legs, and both nipples.
It made my cock look really white, I thought someone made a paper-mache cast of my dick.
It also broke the skin and hurt like a bitch.

Anyway, I'm going to a dermatologist soon, because it continues to spread even though I've been putting special lotion on it. I'm also going to see a Psychiatrist soon, because my family thinks I may have depression or some gay shit like that.
There's no such thing as too much information.



Also, my father spread a rumor that my mom is a prostitute (They're divorced.)
He told all her friends and some people who go to her clinic.
He is even telling them a specific escort company, "Purrfect escorts"
I laughed when my mom told me this, which wasn't the best thing to do.

Also, this blog got 51  pageviews so far, which is about 54 more than I expected it to, especially since I haven't advertised this anywhere. Ya know, you if you read this, and happen to find something funny, you could always like, show the blog to a friend, if you want...

That time I was afraid I'd get raped to death by a fat black woman

>On public bus
>Alone
>No one in the whole bus
>Sitting near back 
>Someone gets on
>Fat black girl
>Dark as night
>Fat as hell
>She looks like a burnt pancake with a face and feet
>She walks passed every fucking empty seat
>Sits next to me
I was terrified

I got off the bus at the next stop.

Some random stories (1)

Before I tell these pointless stories, I just wanted to say I enabled Anonymous commenting. I know that no one reads this blog, but still.

>Download .ZIP about pokemon distribution
>Open the readme.txt
>First line reads "LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS TO DEFEAT THE HUNS"


>In car
>It's raining and shit
>Have to get to house
>Don't want to get too wet
>Grab towel
>Wrap it around my head
>Yell "We muslim now"
>Other pedestrians turn and look at me
>Run to house Muslim style


>On bus
>Phone starts acting weird
>It turns into a transformer
>It tells me I am the chosen one
>Black out
>Wake up on my kitchen floor
>Im hugging a toaster
>It starts making sounds
>I understand them
>I can speak toaster

>It tells me it wants sexual pleasure
>Stick my dick in it
>It starts to burn
>It gets stuck
>3rd degree dick burns
>It wasnt a toaster
>It was my cat

The first of many school related posts.

I don't so much outside of school, besides furious masturbating and video games, so a lot of my posts are gonna be about school. Here's the first

>In school
>Decide to look in text book
>Come across one of those "Turn to this page" things
>Turn to page 24
>Turn to page 53
>Turn to page 36
>Turn to page 78
>Turn to page 70
>Turn to page 111
>Turn to page 19
>Turn to page 45
>This shit is taking forever
>Finally reach the last page
>All it says is "Hi!"
>Erase it
>Write "Jews did 9/11"
>Close book

 

>tfw you will never live in a dog house

Ok, so, I decided to make this blog.
It's not really based around anything, other than me posting things I find funny, usually shit that happens in my life.
Anyway, enough with the introduction, time for the first (hopefully) funny post.

My mom used to live in a dog house. A dog house. You know, the kind dogs live in? She didn't even live in her own dog house. She shared the dog house with two other people.
Three people, living in one dog house.
But the story isn't over yet. The dog house got raided, by the police. I honestly kind of wish this wasn't serious. Apparently one of the dog house occupants was selling cocaine out of the dog house. My mom said the police "Surrounded" the dog house, which couldn't have been too fucking hard.
They wound up knocking the dog house down.

(I made this picture, super fucking neato, right?)

Also, a little list of shit I want to post about in the future:
>My dick infection
>Some shit about school
>The time I dated a psycho
>Random bullshit about myself
>A post about some girl I liked