Musical comedy is a sin against humanity

I think my phones racist because it can't get the racial emojis. People tell me it's because it's old, but that's no excuse for being racist

Complaining about the DMV, I feel like an adult now

If you've ever made an "electronic remix" of a rap song, please knife yourself

I can't remember the last time I've made a post that wasn't typed up on the toilet

I hope Trump picks the lead singer of Smash Mouth as his VP

I have facial hair because I'm too lazy to shave